I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
