You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
