I'm really into asian looking animals
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
