I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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