If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize