I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
