I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
