Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i think i have two assholes
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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