ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
