she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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