Nicole vs. Life
if i died would you start the facebook group?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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