Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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