I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
