I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
