Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
