I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
