Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
