I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
