This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
