My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
