I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
