wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
