The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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