im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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