there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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