Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
