But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
