we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
