I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
