does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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