where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
