If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
