haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
