He felt like a one man threesome
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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