Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
