Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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