Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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