Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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