I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
