Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
