Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
