i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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