I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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