Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
