Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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