whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
