I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize