i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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