I bet he comes in French.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
