drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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