Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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