I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize