Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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