She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
