we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
