I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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