What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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