I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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