I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize