they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize