please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
