Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
