she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize