Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
