Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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