That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
babies were throwing up all over the place
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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