I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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