i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
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