Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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