perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
