lets start a swedish sibling band together
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
