I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
