I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
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He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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