i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize